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TRAIN UP A CHILD TO OBEY OR REBEL

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Recently, I was sitting in a shop waiting for work to be completed on my car. Another lady was also waiting who had two children with her. The younger child was probably about five years of age. The little girl ran up to her mother and asked her something.  Her mother answered, finishing her reply with, "but don't run." The child immediately took off running. They repeated this pattern several times until someone called the mother's name telling her that her car was finished. She called to her daughter who then refused to come. The mother literally had to drag the screaming child from the shop.

This mother had very effectively trained her daughter to rebel and to, through this rebellion on the mother's part, learned that her mother didn't mean what she said (lied!).  Parents lie to children when they give direction but do not follow through the consistent performance to bring about that command.  She told her daughter something which the child interpreted as a lie evidenced by the repetitive re-enforcing behavior of the mother.  

CHILDREN QUICKLY LEARN IF YOUR COMMANDS ARE ONLY WARNINGS

It was quite apparent that the child mentioned above "knew" that her mother's commands meant nothing (were a lie).  This mother was teaching her daughter disobedience by reinforcing rebellious behavior. Defiant behavior is sin, but we adults sometimes camouflage our response to the behavior of unruly children as "the terrible two's," "he's going through a stage," "she's too young to understand," "he's a strong-willed child."  Some parents even laugh when a child does something that is rebellious behavior if it seems cute.  Parents rebel against biblical wisdom (God's principles) when they do not consistently correct and train up their children.  

Many have bought into the modern psychology that a child should never be spanked (or that children should not have regular household duties).  Needless to say, there are some children who don't "earn" many spankings, but there are times when this becomes a necessity and is something God tells us is a part of child-rearing:  "... but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding"!  (Proverbs 10:13)   Please don't take this principle out of context.  It doesn't mean that a parent maliciously beats a child with a rod.  A child needs to be loved in all circumstances.  Parents shouldn't spank while they are in a rage of anger, neither is it necessary to scream and yell at children when they have been disobedient.  The child needs to know that he is loved, and part of love is biblical correction - that encased in love.  "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.  If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?  But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons."  (Hebrews 12:6-8)

Parents sometimes are ruled by loud crying and screaming fits from a child.  They let a rebellious child wear them down and give in to them which reinforces the child's rebellion, making it even stronger for the next confrontation with the parent.  When a parent tells a child something, the child should be trained to obey the first time.  They may need "encouragement" with a spanking or restriction until they learn you mean what you say:  "Don't touch," "Don't run," "Pick up your toys," "Go to bed," "Eat what is on your plate," "Clean your room," "Do your homework," "Don't get on the Internet," "Don't watch TV."  It should never be a matter of, "I'm going to count to three," "Wait until ...," "If you don't ... I will ..."  Children need immediate response to any rebellious behavior.  A child must know boundaries and that he is expected to stay within these boundaries.  When a parent must chase a child to catch him to "make" him obey, there is bigger trouble on the horizon.  Such rebellion should be an immediate warning to the parent that he (the parent) is disobeying God's command to train this child.  Training is not easy.  It is a constant daily, hourly, sometimes by-the-minute activity with little ones.  Threats are unnecessary to a child who is being trained up in the way he should go.  "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."  (Proverbs 22:15) 

BEHAVIORAL PATTERNS LEARNED IN CHILDHOOD LAY A FOUNDATION FOR ADULT BEHAVIOR AND OBEDIENCE (OR DISOBEDIENCE) TO GOD'S WORD    

Training children to rebel has far-reaching effects, especially because many carry this response to authority into their adult lives. Unfortunately, many adults respond in a like manner (with rebellion) to the commands spoken by God and recorded in the Bible for our admonition.  Many pattern after the child who runs when her mother tells her not to do so.  Do we look at the commands given in the Bible as God's suggestions rather than commands and practice lifestyles that are opposing His commands?  Do we respond to Biblical directives  (imperatives/commands) as if they were only God's intent and that He doesn't expect us to follow them?  To many, the Bible is more of a "Book of Suggestions," a "Book of Etiquette," a "Book of Do It My Way."  The Bible has become a book of history or literature to others, instead of the standard for living, our absolute final authority.

 As we "run from God" (lean to our own understanding, rationale) instead of following His commandments (trusting in the Lord), we adopt lifestyles that later in life create heartaches and can lead to our life after death being one forever separated from God. Unlike the mother of the screaming five-year-old, God will not drag us out of the pit of sin chosen by us. He gives us the free will to adopt His commands for our lifestyles with the reward of eternity with Him.  Conversely, we can rebel by excusing sinful behavior in our children and our personal lives, embracing lifestyle patterns that are clearly transgressions of God's Word.

So that we don't miss His admonitions, our Father in Heaven clearly states His warnings: "... the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God ... Be not deceived ..."  Following such warnings recorded in I Corinthians 6:9 is a list of sinful lifestyles based on rebellion to which God refers, through the pen of Paul, the Apostle. This list includes "... fornicators ... idolaters ... adulterers ... effeminate ... abusers of themselves with mankind [homosexuals] ... thieves ... covetous ... drunkards ...revilers ... extortioners ..." Another such list is given in Galatians 5:19-21: "... adultery, fornication ... Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, strife ... heresies, envyings, murders ..."  Another of several lists is in Romans 1:29-32:  "... unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:  Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."  

Carefully consider the last clause above and how it succinctly pictures the attitude of those who choose to rebel to God' standards for perfection and purity:   "Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

If we would closely examine our lives in light of the Word, most of us would find that we either have been, or are, involved in one of the above-mentioned sins.  Hopefully, however, we have repented (turned from - no longer participate in such).  These sins are an expansion of those summarized in the tables given to Moses many years ago - The Ten Commandments.  When we don't train up our children God's way we are violating God's Word.  This involves both parents and should be based on the parents loving one another, both being FIRST submitted to God's love and principles:   "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."  (Ephesians 5:21)  "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them."  (Colossians 3:18,19)   Homes fractured by divorce (which is always based upon rebellion to God's Word on someone's part) give an open door to rampant rebellion in the lives of the children as they are torn between two sets of standards and a false idea of what order is to be in the family and home.  

Having hatred in our heart toward anyone is murder.  That includes husbands and wives who refuse to  love and cherish one another.  "Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer:  and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him."  (I John 3:15)   God is love - not hate.  The two cannot dwell in the same body (temple):  "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."  (I Corinthians 6:19, 20)  

EXAMINE YOURSELF TO ASSESS HOW YOU APPLY THE WORD OF GOD TO YOUR LIFE

As we take time to reflect on our relationship to God through His Word, the Holy Scriptures, we should ask ourselves if the Bible is really The Holy Scriptures to us; or, because of our personal desires, lifestyle patterns, selfishness - rebellion - do we treat the Bible as the "Book of God's Intent," the "Book of Suggestions," the Book of Do It My Way" the "Book of Etiquette"?  Let us examine our lives and ask God to help us to turn from sin and share with friends and relatives Truths that may or may not be popular.  Rebellion is worse than witchcraft, whether is is done by adults or children.  "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry ..."  (I Samuel 15:23)  "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable

THE END OF THE MATTER ...

"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.  For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil."   (Ecclesiastes 12:13,14)  

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