by Judith A. Brumbaugh
© 2001, RFI
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Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is not for holy men/women of God to follow. Of this passage Jesus said "... For the hardness of your heart he [Moses] wrote you this precept." (Mark 10:5) Those who have hardened hearts have been deceived by sin; they are lost: "... lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." (Hebrews 3:13)
The Kaups, Jeff and Janine, were married September 1978, and like so many others, were full of love and expectancy for their future. They started out committed to each another, attending church and focusing on common goals. The next year was filled with struggles and blessings. Jeff finished his college degree and their daughter, Jamie Sue, was born. Janine took the lead reins of raising this little bundle of joy while working to help Jeff through college. Upon graduation from college, Jeff went tow ork as an accountant for a utility company and Janine went to work in a children's clothing store owned and managed by Jeff's mother.
They were going to church regularly, even getting involved by teaching in their church; however, they were missing one major thing - a PERSONAL relationship with Jesus Christ. This flowed over into their marriage: "The love Janine and I experienced before we married was now nothing but a memory." This love turned to hatred and division and subsequently, a secular divorce.
What were some of the "wolves in sheep's clothing" - those seemingly insignificant lifestyle patterns that created division? Listen to the words of Jeff: "Janine and I were not investing any time with each other or with the Lord. I was busy with work, golf, our daughter and church, while Janine was busy with friends and work. We grew further apart as our priorities were so very different."
Jeff continues, "The Word states in Proverbs 14:12: 'There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the ends thereof are the ways of death.' We thought we were doing all the right things; but in God's sight, we weren't even close. Satan entered into our home and began the methodical destruction of not only our marriage but our very lives. Janine had fallen far in her faith to the point of not even going to church regularly and eventually getting involved in all kinds of sin." Jeff thought that a move to another town would heal their marital problems, but he found that changing locations doesn't change what's in the heart - their priorities remained the same.
What was needed was for both Jeff and Janine to surrender their lives and marriage to Jesus Christ. However, Janine soon moved into an apartment with a girlfriend and became sexually involved with her roommate's brother. Jeff manipulated his wife to come back home, but things only became worse between the two of them, and she moved out again.
Jeff became very depressed and despondent,"almost to the point of taking my own life. That's when my whole world changed. Jesus came to me in the middle of my torment and suffering and began to unfold His plan for my life. God knew that it would take these circumstances to get hold of my life and turn it His direction. For the next year, I poured myself into God's Word and prayer and for the first time in my life I finally realized my purpose in life - a living personal relationship with my Creator and Savior."
Janine continued on a destructive path until she filed for, and was granted, a divorce in July 1987. Jeff, by this time, however, had studied the Word and learned that divorce is nothing but a manmade piece of paper, and that man cannot nullify a one-flesh marriage covenant. "No court, judge or lawyer could undo our covenant."
Within a few months after the divorce, Jeff and Janine's family changed the way they were praying. "Instead of continually praying for the healing of our marriage, the Lord said to pray for Janine's salvation: 'But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.' (Matthew 6:33) By this time, Janine was living with a guy and her heart was totally cold to me. God calls us to walk by faith, not by sight, so we confessed God's Word over this adulterous relationship and even prayed by the grace of God, that Janine would be influenced by the man she was living with to give her life to the Lord." And that's what happened. The man gave his life to the Lord and invited Janine to attend church. She did this and was saved.
The prayers and faithful commitment on the part of Jeff continued. Then one day when Jeff was with his wife he told her, as she was ready to leave, "... the rent is always free and you're welcome any time." Janine bowed her head and drove off." The next day, Jeff received a phone call from his wife. She said, "Is the rent still free?" Jeff nearly dropped the phone, "... but regained my composure long enough to accept her request. I moved her back home the next weekend." They were 'remarried' by the renewing of their vows on June 17,1988. (God had already made them one flesh September 1978: "And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh." [Mark 10:8]). Their son, Adam, was conceived on their reunion honeymoon! "The last nine years since our restoration have brought many blessings to our lives and the lives of others. God has added another son to our family, Taylor, and has led us into the marriage restoration ministry. What a testimony to the grace of God from Zechariah 4:6: '... Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.'"
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