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A RESTORED MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP: They "RE-MARRIED" After Divorcing
by Judith A. Brumbaugh ©2002,RFI |
"During the time we were separated, we hated each other ... not dislike, but hate." |
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Struggles and troubles come into the best and worst of marital relationships. No matter how bad the situation is, God can restore. Read the testimony of Jim and Tina Kirkman.
"What you will hear is how God can step into a marriage that the devil has spoiled and how God, through His love, can put it back together again.
AFTER TWELVE YEARS OF MARRIAGE, WE COULD NOT STAND THE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER ... DIVORCE LOOKED LIKE THE ONLY WAY OUT, SO WE TOOK IT!
“Tina and I were married December 23, 1973 at an early age. She was 15; I was 18 - real mature to be getting married! For about twelve years, it seemed as if all we had was trouble. We fought and argued. I wouldn’t keep a job. We had three children and had lost another, so things just weren’t real good from many aspects. Additionally, Tina had a lot of medical problems, which, at the time, we did not know about. Life was pretty tough. During all this, the LORD had called me into the ministry, but I was running from Him. So you can imagine how much more of a problem this was turning into.
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| Like Jonah, Jim had been called by God - just as He calls each of us. But like so many "Jonahs," Jim ran away from the call that God had upon his life. The result of running from God always reaps destruction in some form. |
“Well, needless to say, all these issues did not have a good effect on our marriage. We started having major problems. After twelve years of marriage, we couldn’t stand the sight of each other. Love was out of the question. At that time, divorce looked like the only way out, so we took it. God, however, had a different idea.
“I had gotten into some trouble and had no place to stay. My family would not let me stay with them, so I had nowhere to go. Of all the people in the world who offered me a place was my wife’s dad. You must understand - he is a devout Christian and had been praying for Tina and me during this whole time.
“I moved into his house, found a job, and the LORD began to do His work from that point on. As you can guess with me living with Tina’s dad, we ran into each other all the time. You must understand that during the time we were separated, we hated each other. I’m not talking dislike, I’m talking hate.
“Tina filed for divorce. In a short time, it was in the court system - but God had not given up, even if we had. God was doing a healing in both of us, but we had no idea what He was doing. Tina and I started talking, and as God healed, we began to talk more. We even started getting along!
| Parents can greatly affect reconciliation. Unknown to Jim, his father-in-law never ceased to pray for the restoration of their marriage. Tina's father offered Jim a place to stay when the world "cast" him aside. Parents who intercede for their children's marriage can have a big effect. |
“Before our divorce became final, we decided we would cancel it. On the day we were going to the courthouse to cancel the divorce proceedings, Tina said that her mail would be delivered in just a few minutes, and if I didn't care, we could wait on it. Well, the devil was still trying to destroy us. We received our final divorce papers in the mail that day.”
That didn’t deter the Kirkmans. They moved forward with their reconciliation. They re-married.* Jim relates: “That has been 16 years ago, and our marriage has been better than you can believe. When God heals something, it stays healed. There is nothing the enemy can do when God puts you or a situation back together - and he has committed people with whom to work. In December 2001, we will be married 28 years - for with God, when you vow a vow to marry, that vow and resultant covenant are until death do you part. We are both still alive, serving God and now ministering healing to others. To God be the glory. When everything seems to be falling apart, put it in the hands of a loving God who is able to do above all we think or do.”
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RE-MARRIAGE The ONLY correct usage of remarriage: when two people already married, reconfirm their vows. It is impossible to make a new (second) covenant over a one-flesh marriage. Society is unscripturally applying remarriage to what God repeatedly calls adultery. We need to correct our usage and not call a ceremony between two people, one or both of whom have another living one-flesh spouse, a remarriage. Those who enter into such are putting themselves into a continual state of adultery. "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, commiteth adultery; and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband commiteth adultery." These are the words of Jesus Christ. (Luke 16:18) |
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