I ALMOST THREW IT ALL AWAY!

I reached out to a high-profile Christian counselor who was [wrongly] convinced God was setting me free from the "bondage" of my marriage and giving me someone more suited to my needs. This counselor encouraged me to move in with my new "flame" and learn from her. He [mis]used Bible verses like Mark 10:29,30 and Romans 7:8,11 to convince me. "And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life."  (Mark 10:29,30)  

"But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence.  For without the law sin was dead. For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it slew me." (Romans 7:8,11)

My new heartthrob easily obtained her divorce.  However, I ran into a brick wall: a wife who believed, by the inspiration of God, that a covenant marriage meant "until death do us part."  She refused to cooperate or sign anything.  I tried to convince her that I was committing adultery, and she had biblical grounds to divorce me. But Jimmie Ruth had already examined the so-called "Exception Clause" (Matthew 5:32 and 19:9). "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:  and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

Jimmie Ruth learned that this was written to address the a Jewish culture which practiced betrothal customs.  (During the time of betrothal [engagement], if there was unfaithfulness, the betrothed could obtain a divorce.  Engagement was more like a contract which could be broken by man; marriage, however, was, and is today, a covenant that is only dissolved by the physical death of one of the parties to a one-flesh marriage.)  Joseph and Mary were such an example of this practice of this Jewish custom of espousal.  (Matthew 1:18-25). "Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise:  When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.  Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary [to marry her] thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.  [In the Jewish culture, during the betrothal period those engaged were called husband and wife, even though they were not married].  And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife:  And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.”

The Scriptures [in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9] state: "except it be for fornication" (not adultery).  Even though many Christian friends, out of sympathy for Jimmie Ruth, [incorrectly] thought my adultery was grounds for divorce, she stood firm on her conviction:  the covenant vows of marriage united us as "one flesh" until one of us died.

I blamed my wife for my adultery at this point; after all, if I could get a legal document of divorce in my hand, then my new relationship would cease to be adultery.  Or would it?  The Words of Jesus prove quite differently.  "And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery." "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery."  (Mark 10:11,12; Luke 16:18)

The other woman and I moved in together.  She helped soothe my conscience by telling me she heard "the voice of God."  I now know it was a form of control and manipulation, not God at all. The "voice" told us to move to Florida, and we did!  The "voice" in her often prophesied to me things which did come to pass.  Devils have power to deceive, so fulfillment of a prophesy is significant only if it agrees fully with the Word of God. “If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth thee a sign or a wonder, And the sign or the wonder come to pass, whereof he spake unto thee, saying, Let us go after other gods, which thou hast not known, and let us serve them; Thou shalt not hearken unto the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams:  for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him. And that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death; because he hath spoken to turn you away from the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed you out of the house of bondage, to thrust thee out of the way which the LORD thy God commanded thee to walk in.  So shalt thou put the evil away from the midst of thee."  (Deuteronomy 13:1-5)  "Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders."  (II Thessalonians 2:9)  The lack of righteousness in my heart gave power to the deception of sin working also in her.

I had misplaced my passion and was controlled by my emotions.  My focus was inward and selfish, not on the Word of God, nor my family.  “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." (II Timothy 3:1-7)

One evening, this child prayed, "Dear Jesus, make Jimmie Ruth so sick that she will sign the divorce papers so we can be a family."  Within hours of that prayer, my wife, who had been in perfect health, was rushed into emergency surgery.  A large portion of her intestines had to be removed, and she was not expected to live through the night. Still, she clung faithfully to her covenant promise "until death do us part."

The day following my wife's surgery, this woman's first-born teenage son, who had also been in perfect health, was rushed to another hospital across town. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The woman was convinced it was the work of a devil sent by my wife. However, she stubbornly refused to repent of her own sin: "... thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.  And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.  Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds."  (Revelation 2:18-22)  Several months later, her son, a godly young man, died.  She had prophesied that I would one day adopt him; his name would have been Jimmie Matthews (like my wife's name)!  The blinders covering the eyes of my spirit were being removed. I started seeing glimpses of the deception. 

Gradually, I realized I had to start obeying the Word of God, not just what felt good to me. The softening of my heart caused me to turn toward Melody, my daughter, and her graduation.  "... He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts [persistent sin] suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."  "Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD:  And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse."  (Matthew 19:8; Malachi 4:5,6)  On my arrival, I found she had lined our driveway with yellow ribbons to welcome her daddy home. I went to my son Mark and asked him to forgive me.  He gave me a casual "sure" that probably matched the initial sureness of my repentance, but both have become more solid over these many years.  My wife, by God's mercy, was still standing where she had stood when she uttered those vows on December 28, 1962 - faithful to her God and to her covenant. The process started:  I confessed, turned and forsook my sin and received God's mercy:  "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy." (Proverbs 28:13)

On a cold winter's day, I sought for the grave of that godly young son.  Kneeling in the snow, I asked God why He did not take my life instead of his.  The boy was innocent - I was the guilty one! Finally, I found some comfort in the thought that he was now in God's presence. Then the scripture came to me, "... The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife ..."  (I Corinthians 7:14)  My wife's faithfulness kept me separated unto God, as well as to our children.

At the first, as we sought to restore our lives together, Jimmie Ruth and I did not have warm “fuzzy" emotions; but in the fear of the Lord, we began rebuilding our marriage.  Each began taking personal responsibility for our individual walk with God. We made an investment of putting effort behind right actions to each other, which will always lead to healed emotions over time.

The process has been long and painful, but I can honestly say, the results are well worth the effort. My daily life now swims in peace and the joyful sounds of happy, healthy grandchildren - the fruit of God's mercy added to my obedience. Our son and daughter have chosen to forgive and love their repentant dad.  I have a place called "home" (the same one I tried to throw away!), and that home is filled with all precious and pleasant riches:  "Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches."  (Proverbs 24:3,4)  I have a wife who loves me in a way few men will ever be loved; a wife who is willing even to die if necessary and in order to be faithful and keep covenant.  AND I ALMOST THREW IT ALL AWAY!

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