CONCERNING CHILDREN
by Judith A. Brumbaugh
© RFI
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Destruction in the lives of children has been the topic of several newspaper headlines in recent months. "Girl killed without remorse, police say." This was a 13-year-old, a sixth grader, who shot and killed a cab driver. There was no emotion, not one tear. Instead, she was defiant and dry-eyed. "She didn't care at all," the writer continued.
PARENTS CREATE THE "STAGE" UPON WHICH THEIR CHILDREN BECOME THE "PLAYERS"
The sad part of all this is that perhaps the world has become anesthetized to the fact that parents are creating a society in which such behaviors are being fostered. We may have lost sight of the incredible blessing children are. God's design is that they are given to both a father and a mother who are to establish a home in which the children will be nurtured, loved and given stability. "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them ..." (Psalm 127: 3-5) "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth ..." (Genesis 1:28) Marriage is the institution that God has established for the birthing and rearing of future generations who are supposed to follow the pattern set by godly parents. Such a marriage is based upon a life-time commitment between the husband and wife. This commitment is characterized by charity - a free-will, on-going love that gives unselfishly to the other and glorifies the picture that Jesus Christ established between Himself and His church.
A THRESHOLD ONCE THOUGHT UNTHINKABLE
We, however, almost daily read of the sad reality of man's destructive behavior regarding the responsibility undertaken when marriage vows are taken and God's response to such by making the two "one" until the physical death of one of these spouses. In another newspaper article, it is reported: "Sometime in the next century, the United States could cross a threshold that once would have been unthinkable. It could become a society in which a majority of children are reared by single parents. It will happen unless something reverses a seemingly inexorable trend ... No one is quite sure when the families began to dissolve, but the rise in single parenthood has mirrored the decline in the economy," says this reporter in a feature story from THE ORLANDO SENTINEL, September 18, 1994.
In NEWSWEEK (July 4, 1994), we read, "Two million women are beaten every year; one every 16 seconds." And recently, we heard about a mother murdering her children through an apparent drowning in a car which she had pushed into a lake. And there is case after case of unbelievable child abuse.
A recipient of "Restoration Report" recently wrote of her years and years of abusive treatment from a spouse and hoped that we in this ministry were aware of the verbal and physical abuse that many spouses are experiencing. (We indeed, are acutely aware of such. Rarely does a day pass that someone doesn't need prayer and encouragement because of spouse abuse.) Another reader wrote of the pain experienced by living in a home where the parents were united "only by their commitment to stay together." She shared the pain the children experience living in a family under such circumstances. "I see nothing in my King James Bible that says we'll get brownie points for obeying the law if the spirit isn't in it."
It is true that God does not approve of our rejecting His commandment to love one another. "... He that loveth not his brother (this includes husbands and wives!) abideth in death." (I John 3:14) Just because two people live together in a house doesn't mean that they are honoring their marriage vows. Our vows are designed to give direction - to love and cherish one another. Anything short of that is sin. However, because two people have not learned to communicate with one another and to love one another is no excuse to separate.
This lady who wrote continues: "I still say thank you at Restoration of the Family for at least doing what you believe in and being true to the call you feel on your life." This writer, in her closing statement, gave the answer to the above societal evils: "They will not know us if we don't have love one for another." Family disintegration is out of control in America because we have walked away from God. We haven't taught love, obedience or commitment by example or precept. Marriage has become a temporary living arrangement driven by sex and selfishness.
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God's design for marriage isn't as it has become for
many: a temporary |
Few people recognize that most of the headlines involving the abuse of children and adults have, as the participants, those who have been involved in family breakups. Read carefully. Common adjectives and nouns are "estranged husband." "ex-wife," "the mother's boyfriend," "the father's girlfriend," Surrounding these people's lives are anger and bitterness spawned by unforgiveness. Children from these families are expressing the anger with which so many of them are filled through bizarre crimes and by replicating parental behavior.
GOD EQUATES HATRED WITH MURDER - THAT INCLUDES THESE FEELINGS BETWEEN HUSBANDS AND WIVES
Some reading this newsletter would say, "I have never murdered anyone or beaten our children." As the above writer related, we don't have to physically beat children to inflict pain. And, we don't have to pull the trigger on a gun or drown innocent children to be a "partaker" in these sins. In fact, many in upper socioeconomic levels have learned to camouflage and perhaps restrain their unforgiveness so that few recognize their deceit. God, however, looks at the heart. The breakup of a family or refusing to love a mate because of hatred, unforgiveness, anger, etc. is not judged by society ... but it is by God. Have you really thought about God's definition of murder? "Whosoever hateth his brother (this includes husbands and wives!) is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him." (I John 3:15) "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." (John 15:12)
GOD HOLDS PARENTS ACCOUNTABLE TO TRAIN UP THEIR CHILDREN ACCORDING TO BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES
God holds parents accountable. "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) Children learn what they live. May each parent examine his/her relationship with his/her spouse to make certain that the children born of this relationship can see the living example of love that God intends for parents to pass on to their children.
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Actions speak louder than words, especially what
children observe between their parents! |
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