Restoration of the Family, Inc. (RFI) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit
organization
Copyright © RFI, all rights reserved
By Judith A. Brumbaugh
Return to Home Page Return to Topic List
Most of us have repeated, or at least heard, the saying, "Birds of a feather flock together." Conversely, you will not find a rooster and an eagle sitting on the same branch! What this implies is that people of like values, beliefs, cultural backgrounds, educational preferences or economic status tend to navigate toward one another or demonstrate similar patterns of behavior.
For example, those who like football would most likely be found watching the Super Bowl on that given day. The grocery chains know (because of tracked buying patterns) that Super Bowl Sunday will yield them their second largest volume of grocery business during a given year. Those who love the LORD normally will attend some type of worship service at least once a week. Others who know the value of education will probably enroll in a college or some type of institution to further their education.
There are also common learned behavior patterns exhibited within members of the same family. This is because "children learn what they live"; that is, most children and adults are largely products of and reflect the environments in which they have been reared. If the parents handle conflict between themselves by aggressively arguing, holding grudges, exhibiting unforgiveness or even with verbal and physical abuse, children often pattern these behavior traits when they become parents, unless they become saved and have Jesus Christ as LORD of their lives. When we are saved, our lives will change: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away ... " (II Corinthians 5: 17) That is, those former sinful behaviors will, in time, disappear. Patterns of behavior are not easy to change. It often takes prayer and fasting in addition to a desire to change. (See Matthew 17:21.) When destructive patterns are not changed as a person's life is sanctified, this may be because of:
Dialects, accents and patterns of speech are also passed on from one generation to another. These habits are learned patterns, not inherited behavior.
Likewise, you will often see overweight parents with overweight children at their side, or slim, trim parents with slim, trim children. Most physical traits of obesity or slenderness are the result of learned patterns such as eating habits, exercise and lifestyle norms. Most would agree that we teach our nutritional patterns to our children as well as mannerisms. For example, we often find that when adults smoke or drink alcoholic beverages, their children model this behavior. If we like highly seasoned foods, our children, who have been raised on these foods, will also enjoy these "culinary delights"! Parents who are promiscuous often find their children also become involved in sexual sin. It is common for children to model parental love and affection, or lack of, it in their marriages. They often don't recognize destructive behavior which works toward destroying their love-based relationship and physically jeopardizing, their life-long union.
In many Christian circles, the brethren talk about generational curses. They believe that many behavioral patterns are inherited - that because someone from previous generations practiced some sin, the current generation cannot control a related lifestyle pattern. They are, in essence, saying that sins are inherited or are the fault of someone else; thus, the person committing the sin cannot help himself. It's sort of like Adam who sinned and blamed Eve ("The woman you gave me made me do it."); Eve blamed the serpent ("The serpent told me to do it."). Today, we might say any of the following:
| The pressure was too great to teach biblical truth about marriage; it would offend too many; people might switch to another church if I tell those who are committing adultery, they are not saved. (Luke 16:18; I Corinthians 6:9) |
| I didn't pay my taxes because I can't afford to do it; it isn't a fair taxation system. |
| I'm an alcoholic because my father was a heavy drinker. |
| I get angry because that's how I was reared to respond to conflict. |
| I'm poor because I was reared in an economically deprived home. |
A careful contextual study should be considered regarding this issue of generational curses. It is true that habits and lifestyles of parents, peers and others greatly influence (teach) those who are a part of that environment. Those who are reared in poverty may tend to adapt work habits, buying patterns or attitude traits which promote restricted income. However, saying that sin is inherited because someone in one's family line practiced it isn't biblical. God doesn't force sin upon anyone. He, instead, has given every man the ability to choose between good and evil. Only Jesus Christ is called to bear man's burden of "sin debt;" BUT, only IF and WHEN a believer repents of sin and turns to the LORD.
Many who believe there are generational curses point to Exodus 20:5 for their basis of belief: "Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me." First of all, few quote the last part of this verse which immediately qualifies the first part: "of them that hate me" (Those who hate Jesus Christ do not follow His teachings.); nor, do they consider the last part of the sentence as recorded in verse six: "And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments." Even fewer consider the whole counsel of God and put together God's total teaching on a given subject.
Some would attribute their poor economic status to their heritage. Many, however, have shown quite the opposite. With a meager beginning in a rustic cabin to personal business failure, Abe Lincoln rose above his environmental circumstances to become the 16th president of the United States. Likewise, Booker T. Washington did not let the fact that he was born the son of a slave deter him from becoming financially successful. He worked in a salt furnace and coal mines, attending school whenever he could, and went on to write several books, founded several national organizations and became a teacher and major organizer and principal of what is now Tuskegee University.
It's true that many may have been thrown into the midst of a poverty level of living because of circumstances beyond their control, BUT the poverty was not inherited. That's the issue upon which we are focusing. It's so easy to adapt the patterns of those in our environment. God warns against this practice as it applies to sin. For example, He brought the Israelites out of Egypt, a pagan country, and told His people not to mingle with them because He knew they would pattern their sinful behavior. They didn't listen and got caught in the snare of sin and thus lost what God had for them - eternal life. We, too, must CHOOSE whom or what we will serve. "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served ... but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." (Joshua 24:15) When we, of our own free will, choose to be involved in sinful habits or lifestyle patterns, they will eventually control our lives. When such unfortunate decisions are made, many never escape from the resultant captive net which engulfs partakers. (Study II Timothy 2:26.)
Sinful habits can open the door to diseases and illnesses. Sin can change peoples' minds and personalities. Prolonged negative circumstances often serve as a catalyst to pull people into sin when biblical principles are not closely adhered to. That's why it's so dangerous to wait until we have a crisis to try to develop a relationship with the LORD so that we understand the Word enough that we are equipped to apply it to our lives.
There are many people who have memorized huge portions of the Bible, but their lives do not reflect the love of God. They can readily quote many Bibles verses, but are unwilling to sacrificially love their mates as Christ loves the church. They are not patient and kind in the midst of crises. They are not long suffering in adversity. The end of the matter is each person chooses whom he serves as evidenced by his own actions.
Return to Topic List Top of Page
Questions on article, write:
Restoration Of The Family, Inc.